Since day one of jan 08 till now, i am still vy bz n bz n bz... It has been so many wk, i havent able to sleep late from mon - sunday... sob sob...
My physical not able to hold on for too long, i needed the rest.... everytime on train or buses, i will fall asleep... mind is not able to react vy fast too.... keep forgetting stuff... it all the signs that i am physical tired....
really wish to get out of this cycle but it just seem like an endless to me. the more i wish to get out of it, the more i into the bz cycle.
i really cant take it, i have to ask to stop teaching in the sunday school for 2 mths. i cant cope with it. with so many events in at work, and the need of doing my fyp... i donnoe... i just trying to bear with it, hoping the freedom days will come soon.
Tired
donnoe y i am so tired.... keep wanted to sleep, guess it because the past few wk of late night sleep doing my fyp and wake up early throughout the 7days. body telling me, i need to rest....
scare scare
yday night was a night i will never forget.... lucky, my boyfriend, cow & I went back home for dinner... As usual we reach home abt 7+. cow & i taken our dinner first. after that we sit at the living room watching program. Dad at this time, went to take his bath.
Not long after that, cow & i heard a loud "bang". Dont know why, i feel scare.... i stand up n wanted to walk to the kitchen... i think my mum feel my body language, she rush in-front of us. Calling my dad....
My dad never reply to us. Cow force open the door, we saw our dad, laying on the floor. See like having diffcult breathing... He doesnt response to mum calling. cow rush downstair to find a doctor, while i make phone call to call 995. i was so scare.
At the same time i need to take care of my mum. she just keep shouting n feel so lost. I donnoe why, i ask my mum to continue to talk to my mum. While i donnoe what to do. I call my sister, cant get her.... at that point, i call Sayian. i keep walking around the house...then sudden heard my mum shout, my dad wake up.
I ask my mum to stay with him. Sudden my dad wanted to get up. I told my mum, dont let dad get up. Both of us have no strength to help him. So i insist my dad to stay laying of the floor till help is here.
I really donnoe how i manage to pack, my dad ic, my mum wallet. My own wallet in the bag during the walking up n down in the house. After my dad went into the lift, and going to the hosptial. I break down and cry. I feel so scare... even i noe the situation was not bad. cause my dad able to talk, no vomit. everything seem fine.
the feel of going to lost my dad i was really scare... at that point i couldnt do anything. i also need to take care of mum. got to give her instruction. As i understand my mum. she will break down...lucky now everything is all rite... i even took urgent leave to stay in the house, in case i was needed... i just want to stay near my dad...
today when i go near the kitchen bathroom, i still have the fear... i noe it over, but i havent get over. i think i still need sometime.
Not long after that, cow & i heard a loud "bang". Dont know why, i feel scare.... i stand up n wanted to walk to the kitchen... i think my mum feel my body language, she rush in-front of us. Calling my dad....
My dad never reply to us. Cow force open the door, we saw our dad, laying on the floor. See like having diffcult breathing... He doesnt response to mum calling. cow rush downstair to find a doctor, while i make phone call to call 995. i was so scare.
At the same time i need to take care of my mum. she just keep shouting n feel so lost. I donnoe why, i ask my mum to continue to talk to my mum. While i donnoe what to do. I call my sister, cant get her.... at that point, i call Sayian. i keep walking around the house...then sudden heard my mum shout, my dad wake up.
I ask my mum to stay with him. Sudden my dad wanted to get up. I told my mum, dont let dad get up. Both of us have no strength to help him. So i insist my dad to stay laying of the floor till help is here.
I really donnoe how i manage to pack, my dad ic, my mum wallet. My own wallet in the bag during the walking up n down in the house. After my dad went into the lift, and going to the hosptial. I break down and cry. I feel so scare... even i noe the situation was not bad. cause my dad able to talk, no vomit. everything seem fine.
the feel of going to lost my dad i was really scare... at that point i couldnt do anything. i also need to take care of mum. got to give her instruction. As i understand my mum. she will break down...lucky now everything is all rite... i even took urgent leave to stay in the house, in case i was needed... i just want to stay near my dad...
today when i go near the kitchen bathroom, i still have the fear... i noe it over, but i havent get over. i think i still need sometime.
today is the first day at office in 2008. 4 days of break, i still feeling tired... maybe because i am not feeling well since yday supper....
when i back in office, one of my guppies die. Now my small mini tank at office only have 1 guppy in it. the orange one see to be sick too... the whole day the the bottom of the tank... not swiming at all...
when i back in office, one of my guppies die. Now my small mini tank at office only have 1 guppy in it. the orange one see to be sick too... the whole day the the bottom of the tank... not swiming at all...
